We’ve always taken issue with the decadent Valentines day desserts. Don’t get us wrong. Like. We get it. Chocolate is tasty. Ordering dessert gives the impressions that you’re generous. Sharing it makes you look romantic. And, like Cher Horowitz said, “Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.” When you’re two bottles of wine deep, the chocolate bombe with a cheese course chaser sounds like a great plan– but no one wants a pound of heavy cream fermenting in their gut while they’re making out.
We say, skip that shitty chocolate lava cake and invite your date back to your place for Orange Chocolate Date truffles.
Despite being raw, vegan, paleo friendly, and gluten free, we assure: these truffles are delicious. They taste like little nuggets of raw brownie batter, but you can eat 12 servings without risking a mid-fuck fart. They are a cocoa-covered miracle.
A hit of seasonally appropriate citrus gives these truffles a fragrant zing. Use the leftover orange for old fashioneds – or some morning-after mimosas.
- 1 ½ cups pitted Dates– whatever’s the cheapest in your grocery store’s bulk section
- 1 cup oily Nuts– like Walnuts, Pecans, or Cashews. Maybe Hazelnuts, Pistachios or Macadamias. *Decidedly Not Peanuts, you weirdo*
- ½ cup Cocoa Powder– plus another ½ cup for dusting, set aside
- 1 tbsp Orange Zest
- 2-4 tbsp Orange Juice
- Your food processor or blender, combine the Dates, Nuts, ½ cup Cocoa Powder, and Orange Zest. Buzz it up with pulses until things get nice and chopped. If your Dates were nice and moist (hey-ooo), you might need to scrape down the sides once or twice to keep things moving.
- Switch your machine to a constant processing/blending, and add the Orange Juice a tablespoon at a time. You might only need 2 tbsp, but, if your Dates were really dry, it might take all 4. Keep blending until things make a mostly smooth, dense paste that kind of pulls away from the walls of the bowl. It shouldn’t glop on your hand when you poke it and it should easily hold its shape when pinched into a ball.
- If your mixture looks wet or loose, or you added too much OJ by mistake, don’t panic. You can add up to another ½ cup of Cocoa powder to absorb liquid without making a major impact to the flavor.
- Using two spoons (or, if you’re real precise, a 1 oz portion scoop), scoop 2tbsp lumps of the Date mixture into the reserved Cocoa powder. Lightly toss it around to coat on all sides and, using your palms, roll it into a ball.
- These keep in the fridge covered with plastic wrap for about a week, but ours have never made it more than a night or two. If you get real enthusiastic about these, they freeze pretty well. In either case: keep them stored in an air-tight container! Serve with wine and/or a 30 Rock Netflix marathon. Obviously.