“Peach Hand Pie” sound like the punchline to a dirty food pun. Probably is. But it’s also the best thing we’ve eaten this summer.
This lousy Smarch weather has got us down. Despite being basically April, there’s like 8 inches of fresh fucking powder on the ground in Chicago. We’re cold, we’re over it, and we need to snuggle up to something hearty.
Chicken Pot Pie is the coziest of all foods. Somewhere between pastry and stew, it’s the culinary equivalent of napping in a sunbeam. Except it’s, like, a sunbeam made by a chorus of heavenly grandmothers. And it’s easier than it sounds. A little poached chicken here, a pie crust there, and you’re out of the kitchen with less than 30 minutes of hands-on time.
Yesterday was election day here in the States, and it was pretty fucking cool. Beyond the tremendous victory for our President: we have elected our first openly homosexual member of senate, our first Asian woman in the senate, and Elizabeth Warren (who we’re calling now for 2016). Two states legalized pot, four states recognized the right for love to be protected (no matter what you’ve got happening in your pants), and all of those rape-apologist douche bags beefed it really hard.
We’re proud of our country today, and that pride can only be expressed through one medium: Apple fucking Pie.
Nothing says “Yes We Can” quite like the sweet, spiced, fork-tender fruit, dotted with butter and sticky with syrup, wrapped in a flaky, tender crust. From its sordid English immigrant roots to the African and Latin American spices that turned the dish into the country’s favorite dessert; Apple Pie is the best things about America to its core.
Other than liberal use of spices, the key to a good Apple Pie is the apples. Some of the fruits have a harder texture that stands up to long baking times, but tend to fall a little flat in the flavor department. Conversely, the fruits that taste the appley-est tend to turn into mushed when you cook them long enough to brown the crust. To help combat these cruel laws of nature, we like to use a blend of the more intensely apple flavored fruits (like Pink Ladies and Honey Crisps) and hardy fruits that can stand up to a long cook time (like Granny Smiths)– and we always pick hard, slightly tart, blemish-free fruits.